Lockdown

We are in the the middle of another full lockdown. If you are like me was a little bemused by the tier system and think the government is in charge of a very sensitive seesaw. One slight movement sees the whole country moving one direction only for it to be tipped the opposite way a few moments later.

The first major lockdown came back in March 2020 I was at first a little nervous to leave the house to do some shopping after the first week as I had seen how brazen some people had been and seemed to be walking around my town like nothing had happened.

Throughout the lockdown and moving into regional tiers I have heard that advice from central Government had been, somewhat confusing. I will try and stay at home as much as possible, not mix with other households unless it’s with a support bubble and slather my hands with tonnes of hand sanitiser.

Of course in all time whether it is normal or not there will always be a contingency of stupid people.

I don’t know anyone who has had covid some I’m not bothered

It’s only fatal in 2% of cases

It’s all a plandemic

There has to be some responsibility taken not only by the people who make the decisions to contain the virus but those who flout laws governed to keep us from spreading Covid-19.

I have seen many instances of people not wearing masks in shops. Clearly they don’t have any visible reason not to wear them. Even if it was just one group of people to be broken up by the police because they decided to have a party with 30-40 other people this is one too many.

We also have heard stories of people of groups of people who have gathered for parties whether it be on boats or in small confided spaces underneath railway arches. It’s people’s sense of entitlement that annoys me “No one can tell me what to do” like a petulant child reprimanded by a step-parent.

Reports now coming in of other strains of Covid-19 which are more transmissible so much that they government in some areas are literally knocking on people’s front doors asking them to be tested.

One of the news items that concerned me that an organisation has been set to up help those men who regularly attend football matches and have contact with their friends in the stand. Sometimes it has been said that this is their own social contact they have each week. Men are feeling the strain of not being able to socialise as you can imagine the buzz of the football ground gives people a sense of belonging and being part of the community.

Being the most connected, in terms of technology more than at any other time as a human race a large percentage of people are feeling isolated and trapped.

I wonder if it’s time to look at our lives and how we communicate with each other. When I hear about vile abuse that some footballers or other personality has received on social media. Isn’t it time these companies tightened their rules?

What ever your story has been throughout this pandemic have we thought about how others might feel? Given time to listen to our friends or made sure of that someone who you know might be vulnerable has been spoken to to make sure they are okay.

Mental Health funding in UK

The amount of money that is spent on treating mental issues is crap. I am not going into the exact figures as I cannot be bothered to bore you with them. Let’s just say they are nowhere near the amount that is needed to treat a much bigger problem that is realised. If you want to know about the exact amount google it and then come back.

I was appalled to hear on the lunchtime news today that a man had to wait two years to get help and diagnosis with PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) for something that occurred in his childhood. Two years of feeling helpless and suicidal. Believe me everyday of feeling like this I have experienced. It’s draining not just on yourself but it puts on an enormous stress on those loved ones who are living with someone with a mental illness.

Seriously what the fuck is going on? If we had people in A&E told they had to wait months and months for a broken leg we would kick up a fuss. Because often those with mental health issues do keep things to themselves and don’t want to seem as a burden or even as a person who is unstable. Particularly amongst men who don’t think it’s right that they should talk about their feelings. I always thought so far back as I can remember that this was bollocks.

mental-health

Not only writing to MPs or local officials but talking about this issue with friends and others we know will help the issue of mental health funding be known. Treat it as an exercise in gossip the next time you think you are going to have a conversation with someone please mention the desperate need for mental health funding. Some day it could help you and save a life.

Mental Health 2015

Yesterday I went to a meeting for those interested in promoting the needs of those who suffer from mental health problems. It wasn’t restricted to any particular form of mental health so it was compelling to hear some of those stories and events that others had experienced.

 (An amazing venue was the Royal Station Hotel. A gorgeous place.)

It was heart-wrenching to hear others who had suffered. It was also sad to hear that there is chronic underfunding of mental health especially for young people in this country.

I will continue to help promote mental health issues as it’s been something I have experienced over the past 20 years or so. Talking about these issues doesn’t make someone ill. Not talking about them does.

What ever the illness people need to be educated. There’s a lot of people out there who still have the “pull yourself together attitude” or still making hurting comments about someone who is genuinely suffering.

(Danny Bowman speaking about his experiences)

Over the coming months hopefully Mental Health 2015 will continue its good work. Let’s hope others can be encouraged to speak out or even let someone they know if they too are feeling unwell.

6223

Imagine you have been dropped off at a party. You hadn’t been invited but you are told that you should go and make the most of it. You go in and people turn and look at you. It goes quiet for a while but then people get back to what they were doing before you walked in.

Some people are dancing others are drinking and talking to each other. After a while, you talk to others and things seem to a be a little more comfortable the longer you stay. They have explained why they are there. All seems to be going well.

Then you order a drink and you cannot taste it. You order another one from the bar and it again is without flavour and taste. Others ordering from that bar don’t seem to be having the same problem. Asking someone else they dismiss it and say there is nothing wrong with the drink and I should just enjoy yourself while you are here.

Walking back to the dance floor you notice that some people have stopped dancing. They have sat down. You go over to them and ask them if they are okay. They explain that they had been dancing and now all the fun seems to have stopped. They don’t even remember why they came to this place in the beginning.

Suddenly the lights that were once colourful and flashing turn to a greyish dull colour and the music to a monotonous buzz. Someone grabs you and tries to get you to dance. Point blankly you refuse. They insist and you try to move but it’s like walking through thick mud and all your movements are slow.

This isn’t turning out what you expected. Things have become awful to look at and you just sit down. You know the best thing to do is leave.

6223 suicides were reported in the UK 2013. 78% of these were male. It was reported today that this is the highest suicide rate this country has seen in over a decade. With the increased awareness of mental health issues, why is it that this rate is increasing?

I have heard it all before where people have been told to “pull yourself together”. You have nothing to be sad about. But time and again people aren’t understanding what mental health truly is. It’s not just that continuous feeling you get of being sad it’s much more than that. If your team loses you feel bad. After a few hours, you are upset. But try telling the true supporter it’s only a game right after they have lost. You wouldn’t think of doing it as you would try to be more sensitive.

As with the party so, many take the decision to leave life. The purpose, reason and joy of life have gone and all you are left with is the pain.

IMG_3883

Too much

So much is bandied about these days about people who say that they suffer from depression and anxiety. It almost seems inevitable that a well known celebrity will tearfully admit after an indiscretion has been unearthed that they blame it on their depression in a time when they said were to be “at their lowest”.

I have heard many ‘youtubers’ openly admit that when they were going through their teenage years they suffered from depression or self-harm in one for or another. Somehow that depression is miraculously cured and life to them is nothing but a rose garden.

I have the utmost respect for Stephen Fry who is open about his mental health issues. He seems to carry a mantel of hope and yet utter realism when it comes to coping with this disease.

At the moment I couldn’t care less if I lived or died. Some people haven’t the ability to comprehend the enormity and seriousness of the disease. Some see it just as an excuse to either whinge or be negative. All I ask is support. Someone wouldn’t openly criticise if another had been suffering from cancer or another serious disease.

Astounded

The world of the Internet can be a dreadful place. I stumbled across a posting on a Vine app. A place where people can post six second videos for others to view. This is where a person kisses another persons arm. Nothing out of the ordinary until to realise the context.

The person who was doing the kissing is a young man in America. He is famous in the world of YouTube and this app called Vine. He was meeting a number of his “followers” at a conference especially set up so fans can get to meet these sort of people.

The arm of the girl that he was kissing is scarred from her self-harming. The comments left on this video were “Oh he’s wonderful” “I have never cried so much” and “This is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen”.

Never in my life have I been sickened by the lack of attachment to reality that some people have shown to this video. Some of the comments have left me speechless.

Self-harm and mental illness isn’t a phase or some sort of fashion statement. Using your illness or cutting yourself for what ever reason to get attention from those who consider themselves to be famous is utterly wrong.

I have been told by some on this site that expressing the opinion that I found this disturbing didn’t matter as I obviously hadn’t suffered like this girl had. Little to these people know about me and certainly about life.

Who is to blame? I am certainly looking for someone to give me answers to why so many seemed detached. Life isn’t all about being serious and not being able to enjoy yourself but when it drifts into the world of so-called celebrity worship and you start to allow this to take over yourself and health then there is something definitely wrong.

Weather

Image

Stephen Fry once describes being depressed as a rainy day that envelopes us and there doesn’t seem to be a way out or an end to the horrible feeling. For me, it is the bleakness and the loneliness that really seems to cover every part of my life. Spending time on the moors or on a hill in the middle of nowhere seems the only way I can describe it.

If it is the literal change in the weather that has caused my latest episode I am unsure. I am trying to find a trigger that may have caused it like so many people why they ask “Why what’s happened?”.