Tom Daley and Lance Black

The hypocrisy of some people can be seen from space. There is casual homophobia and blatant prejudice and ignorance in a lot of people. 

Mr Daley and Mr Black announced that they would be welcoming their first child to their family a few months ago. It’s great that they feel that it is right that they can spend the time, effort and financial support it takes for starting a family.

Obviously, this didn’t go down too well with some parts of the press. The revolting Richard Littlejohn decried the idea of two men bringing up a child. The idea of this made him sick, apparently. His dismissal of two gay men bringing up a child is ‘not normal’ and that it ‘shouldn’t be so’. One then assumes, as he claims, not to be ‘homophobic’ he must have also condemned the following celebrity couples who have all used a surrogate?

Littlejohn

Kanye West and Kim Kardashian, Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick, Jimmy Fallon and his wife Nancy Juvenon, Dennis Quaid and his wife, Kelsey Grammar and his now ex-wife, Michael Jackson, Tyra Banks, George Lucas and his wife. I could go on and on. A list of those who have used surrogates is common place in heterosexual couples and gay ones too.

Mr Littlejohn compares the news of an imminent arrival of a new life and sharing this to the world the same as showing photos of a medical exam or even an illness. Which in itself is ridiculous as its celebrating a new life and not some medical procedure.

He states that he isn’t homophobic because he ‘supports civil partnerships’. Echoing the comparable mantra of – “I’m not being racist but …” He then digs himself further by calling the sharing of a sonogram ‘Publicity stunt’.

bthbfc996People like Mr Littlejohn are thankfully now in the minority. I was terrified to come out as gay in the 1980s for the fear of being labelled (that if I did come out) that I must have AIDS. Not even HIV+ but straight to AIDS. It was this ignorance that kept me from telling others who I truly was. I am glad I live in a country where I can get married to another man and that there are laws protecting my sexuality whether it be in the street or at work.

The article that lists the celebrities who have used a surrogate fails to mention the most famous footballer in the world, Cristiano Ronaldo. He has used surrogate mothers for  three of his four children. No one has batted an eyelid. Of course that’s a rich, heterosexual footballer – we can’t have a go at him.

The hypocrisy stinks. If there was anyone trying to court publicity and massage their own ego then its Richard Littlejohn and the revolting rag called the Daily Mail.

Sex

Most people who know me know that I love the “Carry on” films. Obsessed by the acquisition of sex leading to various double entendres. In an era when you really weren’t supposed to talk about sex it was a jokey subject that was supposed to titillate.

In the lead up to World AIDS Day there has a been a week of highlighting the need to be tested for HIV. If you are in a high risk group you should get tested regularly if you are having different partners. We have to talk about it and be open with others about the need to take seriously our sexual health.

I will say “our” as I have been tested twice as I felt it was important to know my own status. Burying your head in the sand doesn’t mean it will go away. If you feel you are mature enough to have sex in the first place that you should be to take your sexual health seriously.

The one of the last things I ever said to my year group before they all left school was remember sex isn’t love. Too many people think that just because someone is willing to sleep with you it automatically means that they love you. Yes sex is great but it is also has a powerful emotional side to it. Enjoyed better usually in a long term monogamous relationship.

So in the run up to World AIDS Day. Think, do I need to know my HIV status and could it possibly have changed in the past year?

the barefoot tree

Still grumpy

Gari Wellingham

UK-based musical theatre geek previously living with a brain tumour!